I am not kidding: My sister is impossible to contact.

My sister is astonishingly hard to get ahold of. Below is a list of communication attempts I’ve made or others have made in the last few years, and reasons why these attempts were unsuccessful.

Method Reason(s) for failure
Phone call to her house Phone was broken
Cordless phone had dead battery
My nephew picked up the phone and then hung it up
My nephew picked up the phone and refused to get my sister
Everyone in the family was asleep
Phone was off the hook
No one felt like picking up the phone
No one could hear the phone
Message left on home answering machine Machine was turned off
Memory was full
No one checked the machine
No one wanted to listen through the 47 existing messages to hear my message
Message left with another family member Forgot to tell her
Phone call to her cell phone Battery was dead
Phone number had changed
Carrying Tyson’s phone instead of her own
Couldn’t hear the phone (despite having the world’s loudest ringtone)
Couldn’t locate phone in purse
No cell service
Voicemail left on cell phone Didn’t check her voicemail
Phone call to her work In a meeting
Student answering the phone accidentally hangs up on me while transferring
On vacation
Office number has changed
Voicemail left at work Had too many other voicemails to worry about
Postal mail No one checked the mailbox
Mail was stopped and has been piling up at the post office
Moving houses and I can’t figure out where I should send it
In-person visit No one heard the doorbell
My sister was actually home but other family members didn’t realize it
Email to her work account Mailbox was full of spam and message got lost
Too busy to reply
On vacation and was not checking work email
Email to her personal account She told me to email her at work
Text message to her cell phone Impossible; she had Verizon turn off this feature
Commenting on her LiveJournal She’s written a total two entries and hasn’t updated it in years

Oh well. I still love you, sis.

10 Responses to “I am not kidding: My sister is impossible to contact.”

  1. 1
    nobrainer Says:

    Sounds like a friend of mine.

    Turns out her real problem was that she had severe depression.

  2. 2
    Nephew Says:

    Tom i did not refuse to give it to maryalice and i didnt hang it up well mabe i did but i hate unicorns lol

  3. 3
    SIS Says:

    I freely admit that I am hard to get ahold of :) Your comments had us all laughing out loud at dinner.

    ps Mom called to tell me about your recent post and I picked up the phone after the first ring! PROGRESS!

  4. 4
    Mike Maddaloni Says:

    Classic! We all know someone like this…

    mp/m

  5. 5
    John Zeratsky Says:

    Well, that’s one way to get your sister to call you…

  6. 6
    QKlilx (registered user) Says:

    Heh, and I thought a friend of mine was hard to contact…

    Her main problem is wearing pants that are too tight to fit her RAZR.

  7. 7
    Mom Says:

    This is the funniest thing I’ve read in a long time. I was laughing so loud that the dog thought there was something wrong with me.

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    Christina Says:

    Do we somehow have the same sister?

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