Checkout line stream-of-consciousness
What is going on here? What is the deal? I definitely picked the wrong line. I picked the wrong line. Shit, I should move. What is taking so long? I should move. Shit, someone’s behind me now. I can’t exactly move now.
Are you fucking kidding me? A check? You’re paying with a check? They still make those things? Who pays with a check? What is your problem? Ugh. What is the problem now? Exactly how much information does the checkout girl need to write on that check? She has been writing for at least a solid minute now, maybe two. Driver’s license number, date of birth, mother’s maiden name, city of birth, favorite reality show, opinion on medicare reform, what the fuck else is there to write on that check? Are you practicing a 5 paragraph essay? You cannot be serious.
Ah, finally done. Let’s see if Telecheck earns its keep. Okay, done. Move along, dumb woman. Go.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? SHE’S GOT A “SECOND LOAD.” SHE’S PAYING USING A DIFFERENT METHOD. SHE IS SWIPING SOMETHING NOW AND, SURPRISE SURPRISE, THE GROCERY STORE CARD SLIDER BEFUDDLES HER. ARE YOU FUCKIIIIIIIIING KIDDING ME?
Who buys groceries in two “installments?” What is going on here? How can I complain about this? What can I do besides sigh loudly and exhibit angry body language. WHAT ARE MY OPTIONS?
Hey lady, you want to put that 2-liter on layaway? I’ve got all night, pumpkin.
Whew. Okay. Calm down. She’s gone, finally. Things are moving along. Everything will be fine. The next guy looks reasonably competent. This should work well. Okay.
NOW YOU CAN’T FIGURE OUT THE CARD SLIDER EITHER? HAVE YOU NEVER USED A DEBIT CARD? DO YOU UNDERSTAND THE CONCEPT? IT’S YOUR CARD, AFTER ALL — IS THIS THE FIRST TIME YOU’VE USED IT, SHERLOCK? HUH?
I am never going to the grocery store at 7:30 p.m. again.
September 21st, 2006 at 12:00 am
at least you don’t have to wait in a block-long line for bread.
September 21st, 2006 at 4:36 pm
I once asked the checkout person at WalMart, after standing behind someone paying with a check, if many people still use checks, and she said that it is STILL THE MOST COMMON METHOD!. I don’t get it either. It seems as those most “older” folks use them. Don’t these people realize that their banks will give them a ATM card which directly debits from their checking account, at no cost? A lot of people don’t trust these things, and think that somehow their identity or something will be stolen. Plus, they want to write down each transaction to keep a running balance.
September 22nd, 2006 at 8:25 am
If when I die, the first line of my obit reads, “lead and won the fight against people using checks in a check out line situation” I will consider my life a success.
September 22nd, 2006 at 12:47 pm
I love it 100 % grade a tom sherman material…keep it commin
September 22nd, 2006 at 12:54 pm
Maybe the poor lady was buying groceries for a sick friend! The best use of your time while waiting in line at the grocery store is to read the Nat. Enquirer and other trash that you could never bring yourself to buy.
September 22nd, 2006 at 2:31 pm
Mom, you read that stuff?!?!?!?!?!?!
September 22nd, 2006 at 5:36 pm
Yes, I really enjoy it!
September 22nd, 2006 at 8:37 pm
I’m a little embarassed now.
September 25th, 2006 at 12:35 am
I beatbox to myself when I’m bored.
Try that, but not too loudly or people will wonder…
January 8th, 2007 at 5:29 pm
I work at a grocery store, and I can assure you, checks are rarely used. It’s usually the people too old to adapt to changes. For example, CARS. I usually don’t work inside anymore, because I’ve told managers it pisses me off so much. They put me on carts. So I just chill in my car, and read the paper.
May 7th, 2007 at 12:17 pm
Hey Tom,
I enjoy your comments, you are hallarious.
But I had to speak up on this blog, the lady was more than likely paying for the second portion of her groceries with food stamps, they now have food stamps on a debit card, thus not allowing them to sell the food stamps!