I hate pennies. But I have a solution!
I hate pennies. I think they’re annoying. I sort of wish they didn’t exist.
I buy various things when I’m at work and usually get some pennies back. A Red Bull is $2.23 (2 crappy pennies back). A grande Starbucks coffee is $1.87 (3 crappy pennies back). etc.
I put all of my pennies from work-related purchases into a styrofoam cup. I refuse to taint my pool of change with pennies; only nickels, dimes, and quarters are allowed in the “good area.”
About a year ago, I got sick of the Cup ‘o Pennies. I whipped out a pen and wrote “FREE PENNIES! (I hate pennies)” on the cup, put it on top of my cubicle’s credenza, and waited.
And waited, because no one took them. I was giving away probably $5 in pennies and no one was havin’ that. Not even close.
A solution to the pennies problem
I was thinking about my penny problem again this afternoon and came up with a great solution. (This one doesn’t involve legislation. Side note: I’ve met Jim Kolbe.) However, for it to work, everyone has to cooperate. It goes like this:
When I go to the busiest Walgreen’s ever and buy a $2.23 Red Bull like the sellout I am, the cashier asks me a question:
“Round it?”
If I say yes, then the drink costs me $2.25.
If the drink had been $2.22 and I accepted the “Round it?” offer, my drink would be $2.20. Quite simply, the rounding works like this:
- If the amount ends in 1, 2, 6, or 7, the price will be rounded down to the nearest nickel.
- If the amount ends in 3, 4, 8, or 9, the price will be rounded up to the nearest nickel.
Now if you’re a skeptic, you might say, “But a person could ask for the price to be rounded only in situations where it would benefit him.” (Example: $2.01 becomes $2.00 but not $2.03 becomes $2.05.)
I just don’t think this will happen. I think that there are plenty of other penny hatas out there (in addition to Li’l Penny hatas—bless both of ‘em). The Law of Large Numbers works its magic, and everyone wins.
June 26th, 2006 at 5:40 pm
tom, thats what the “give-a-penny-take-a-penny” cups are for. besides, the cashiers have to make sure they balance out at the end of the day. the chineese restraunt i go to alot (first wok) always does this. if it’s $6.27 and i give her $7.00, she always gives me $.75 in change. likewise, if its $7.02, and i give her $7.05, she slides the nickel back to me.
June 26th, 2006 at 5:45 pm
Well, fair enough, but there are too many places without the penny jars. Also, there is not enough of a cultural consciousness about how retarded pennies are. People need to be willing to be shorted $0.02 (your second scenario) as often as they gain $0.02 (your first scenario).
What I’m saying is that if everyone got shorted and benefited, according to the numbers above, the Law of Large Numbers would kick in. At the end of the day, the amount in the change drawer would be very near the perfect amount.
June 26th, 2006 at 6:12 pm
You really think undereducated cashiers (who may not even understand basic rounding, let alone an additional “1, 2, 6, 7″ rule) will actually buy into this?! Unless cash register manufacturers add a “round it” button, this is a pipe dream.
Now, if there was a “round it” button the cash machines could install some software that would vary the rounding formula so that you’d never be more than 1 penny off at any given transaction.
June 26th, 2006 at 7:31 pm
Evan, you ho-bag, this is my blog. It is a place for my hopes and dreams and desires. I do not need your “undereducated cashiers” reality check here.
June 28th, 2006 at 3:34 am
There are actually a few places out there that will always round it, but I think he designed the prices in such a way that rounding will always benefit him. Yes, I’ve only encountered one place that does this.
It’s nice not having pennies on you.
June 28th, 2006 at 9:28 am
I remember hearing one time that it’s illegal (?!) to quote prices with tax included. That must be crap.
June 28th, 2006 at 12:14 pm
Collect your pennies for a while and then take them to the bank and turn them in for higher denominations. Was it Ben Franklin who said, “A penny saved is a penny earned.”
July 20th, 2006 at 5:50 am
Put them in a jar and at the end of the month you could take them to the bank. ???
August 25th, 2006 at 4:39 pm
I’ve decided that it is best to either use the penny tray or decline to accept pennies. I’ll leave them right there on the counter. On average I lose 2 cents per transaction (less if I use the penny tray). This is a “tax” well worth it.
Think of all the effort and time wasted on handing, storing, and maintaining pennies throughout the month. Accept that tax and use your efforts elsewhere to make real money. It’s so irritating having to push 20 pennies away in a pile while looking for the silver, especially if it’s that person ahead of you in the line. That’s at least 25 cents worth of effort right there.
I’ve decided that it is not worth it to collect pennies and take them to the bank. There’s a hidden cost involved in the time and effort doing that which is more than your financial “reward.” It would be more like doing a favor for the government to make sure it keeps pennies in circulation than anything I’d get out of it.
US military bases have phased out the penny with no problem. No panic. Life as normal. When you have trouble even giving away pennies and people toss them in the trash, it’s time to round.
October 31st, 2007 at 3:16 pm
I don’t understand all this computer stuff. What I do understand is that a penny isn’t worth the copper it’s printed on. The U S government should recall pennies and make the nickel the smallest unit of cash. If that’s too drastic let them make a 2 1/2 cent piece (a half-nickel). But think about it…how much is a penny worth? How much is two or three cents worth?
November 11th, 2007 at 10:46 am
If you don’t want your pennies, feel free to
contact me; I’ll send you a mailing address to get rid of ‘em.
November 18th, 2007 at 11:41 am
In my view, the penny has got to go. Inflaion has made it useless. All the arguments have been made by others in this thread. The rounding problems have been created primarily by sales taxes…otherwise products could be priced as as $19.95 insted of $19.99. So the solution is to get rid of sales taxes.
A more practical approach is to round down in all cases (done automatically at the register) and have the state or city take a few less pennies. Or we could have the register rounding up and give the city and state a windfall in sales taxes so they wouldn’t have to raise taxes so rapidly in the future.
May 8th, 2008 at 10:26 pm
ELIMINATE THE PENNY!!!