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I wish Red Bull were $1.20

Red Bull is my guilty pleasure. I love its taste and actually believe the taurine crap (although maybe I shouldn’t, if I’m too believe this highly speculative paper). But Red Bull is $2 per can—and an 8 oz can at that. I already feel like a sellout for drinking Red Bull. Do they really have to rub it in by charging me $2?

Well, the answer is yes. I know they’re trying to make it a “premium beverage,” and their marketing effort has succeeded by all accounts. Red Bull & vodka is probably the drink of the moment for striped shirt assholes and Chads. But me, Tom Sherman, the cheap-ass Tom Sherman: I want a $1.20 Red Bull.

Look, you’re still ripping me off. I’m willing to live with that. But don’t make it a virtual beverage stick-up. If you charged $1.20, I’d buy way way more overpriced 8 oz cans and send you more profit. I promise you, Red Bull, I’ll keep your profits up. I’m willing to bet that other similarly minded twentysomething sellouts would, too. So how bout it?

26 Responses to “I wish Red Bull were $1.20”

  1. 1
    Evan Says:

    Taurine schmaurine. If Red Bull has less caffeine than a Coke (as they claim) I think it’s all the vitamin B6 and B12 in there that gives you the buzz. Also, LOL @ the definition of “Chad.” You’re such a Chad-wannabe.

  2. 2
    Klilx Says:

    Actually the B vitamins in all energy drinks are the main source of energy from them. It’s a natural way to get that energy.

    For me, every so often I spend a couple bucks on a bottle of 5-Hour Energy. It’s only about 2 ounces, but the title should give you an idea of what happens. That tiny bottle has 8999% vitamin B12.

    Look into it if you need a boost.

  3. 3
    Chad Says:

    I do not drink Red Bull, thank you very much. They can take their “premium” marketing and shove it.

  4. 4
    spudart Says:

    too bad you can’t just make red bull–like just mix it up at home. Homestyle red bull.

  5. 5
    tom sherman Says:

    Possible ingredients:

    Water
    Sugar
    Sweet Tarts (dissolved)
    Vivarin

    Whatcha think?

  6. 6
    Klilx Says:

    Don’t forget the food coloring.

  7. 7
    Dad Says:

    ingredients: carbonated water, sucrose, glucose, sodium citrate, taurine, glucuronolactone, caffeine, inositol, niacin, D-pantothenol, pyridoxine HCL, vitamin B12, artificial flavours, colors.

    how hard is that to mix up at home? now where do you get glucuronolactone?

  8. 8
    Jada Says:

    No

  9. 9
    Erik Says:

    First, you must realize that the closest thing to Red Bull is a Flintstone?s chewable vitamin. Just grind up a buncha vitamins and mix them with club soda. Something like that.

    Second, why not drink Sparks? It comes in bigger cans, tastes almost the same and it has alcohol in it. What more could you ask for? Oh yeah, it?s cheaper too. You could ask for that. And you would get it. It?s cheaper.-

  10. 10
    mike Says:

    hes complainin bout $2 red bull? i would love $2 red bull… in the city i live in (in canada)its 3-4 dollars for 250 mL and the dollar value is only 10-15 cents difference from the U.S.

    but i think i will try that flinstone’s vitamins in club soda idea that Erik posted

  11. 11
    tom sherman Says:

    This Zipfizz stuff is good too, but also pricy.

  12. 12
    evey Says:

    yea…i buy full throttle instead of red bull because even though it is more than red bull, the can is bigger! maybe if it was cheaper i would buy red bull..it looks really good

  13. 13
    skd98 Says:

    Should be renamed to RED BULL PISS because the stuff tastes so bad that’s probably what they put in it. How anbody can drink this swill and pay the price they ask for it is beyond me. Eat an apple is healthy it’s cheap and yes it actually does boost your energy.

  14. 14
    Greg Says:

    Check out Wal-Mart. As much of the devil that place is, 4 packs of Red Bull are just under $6.

  15. 15
    Wayne Knight Says:

    sugar, water, cocaine. home recipe

  16. 16
    franklen Says:

    red bull not only gives u wings it gives me a boner

  17. 17
    franklen Says:

    red bull not only gives u wings it gives me a boner

    *FRANKLE*

    CHECK OUT MY WEBSITE

  18. 18
    Sam Says:

    Hey, whoever the a-hole is that is hyping up 5 hour energy, zipfizz costs under a dollar a packet and has 41667% B12. LOL to the 8000% in the overpriced 5hr-e. I saw this stuff at costco and it got me wondering. If you are going to go down to the supplemental value, this stuff wins.

  19. 19
    meow Says:

    Actually, imo, if any of these “energy” products deserves to be bought, it should be Red Bull - Nectar of the Gods! - since it is virtually the original that started the whole energy drink craze every other company is trying to jump in on. I love the 8.3 oz can. I think it is just the right amount. I think all the 12 oz or larger cans are just too much, including the new 12oz Red Bulls. As for less caffeine than a coke, you need to research, buddy - soda is about 35-45mg of caffeine. Red Bull is about 80mg, which equates to an average, percolated cup of coffee (80-110+mg).

  20. 20
    bryan Says:

    Hey guys you can go to Sams Club and get it for 1.30 a can not a awesome price but better than getting raped at your local gas station! and thats by the 24 pack like 32 dollars.

  21. 21
    tflex Says:

    you guys should look for a new energy drink coming out called Freedom Energy Drink. Go to KG2productions.com
    it is already out on the west coast and we just brought it to arkansas first

  22. 22
    Hunga Says:

    http://www.spiegel.de/international/business/0,1518,545495,00.html
    ha red bull r lame

  23. 23
    JAKE LOVES BULL Says: Says:

    i love red bull they should make the small cans like 99 cents

  24. 24
    JAKE LOVES BULL Says: Says:

    oh and do work son!!!!

  25. 25
    Willie B Says:

    That evil place wal mart has 6 packs of red bull for $8.00 $1.33 a can close to your $1.20 a can. the bastards get ce for about $24 a week

  26. 26
    Paul Says:

    Well Red Bull is now $3 / 8oz most places in Canada. (it used to be 1.99 a few years ago but after it got really popular they upped the price) For $3 I can get a monster or rockstar, with twice the amount of caffeine, taurine, B vitamins etc. And I think they taste better too.

    In fact ALL of the energy drinks being sold must be making a massive per unit profit. These energy drinks cant possibly cost much more to produce than a regular soft drink, but are sold at 2 - 5 times the cost. Think about it this way, you can buy a bottle of 100 100mg caffeine pills and a bottle of 100 multivitamins for $15 or so. So we pay an extra 2 bucks or so for 15 cents of caffeine and vitamins

    . I do like energy drinks for however, mainly when I want to avoid the side effects of coffee (making you hot, not quenching your thirst, peeing a lot) such as on hot summer days or on long drives where I want to avoid extra piss stops.

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