Top 5 Things for Humanity to Focus on When Evolving
- Improve the knees. Possibly bionic. Knee injuries are too common.
- Claws on both hands and feet. I want to be able to climb things. Note: if you feel like nitpicking and call this “devolving,” feel free to visit this website.
- New teeth. I mean, scrap the current system entirely. I can’t believe we haven’t worked out this cavity thing by now.
- The ability to digest raw meat. No brainer. Microwaves are handy, but wouldn’t it be nice if you could just stuff your face with ground chuck? Yeaaah, that’s what I’m talking about.
- Back to all running on all fours, but only when we want it. Like Transformer-style. I’m feeling like bipedalism was a mistake.
There you go, humanity. You’ve got your marching orders; let’s pick it up.
May 24th, 2006 at 12:09 am
Good post. I’ve thought about this question before and I think we share a few common items on our evolutionary wish lists. First I’ll address your list in reverse order:
This bipedal “mistake” is likely more of a crucial key to our success as a species. Read all about this in the recent Discover Magazine article entitled “Born to Run.” Basically, we can run longer distances than any other animal because of how efficient bipedalism (an the ability to sweat) is.
We can digest raw meat. We just have to masticate it a lot more. In fact, it’s widely held that once we learned how to harness fire (and thereby started cooking food) we didn’t need such large jaws and skull muscles which allowed us to evolve even larger skulls — all the while we were able to eat more proteins and feed our growing brains.
Teeth. Agreed. Genetic engineers should work on healing teeth. Maybe grow them in test tubes and plug them in as we age. This actually relates to the whole raw meat thing. As humans began cooking food, we lost our need for big, strong and properly aligned teeth. Hence, they’ve progressively gotten smaller and less healthy.
Claws, eh? Personally, I’d rather have spider silk shoot from my forearms.
Good call. Knees could definitely afford to be a little more robust. I wonder if that’d be more beneficial for offensive linemen or skiers?
I don’t know if I can think of five. But real quick (in no particular order) I’d have to say:
Even larger, more organized and powerful brains — let’s make that next quantum leap of thought.
Infuse the human body with whatever cancer-resistant properties that shark tissue has
The ability to turn facial hair on and off
A voluntary back-up heart muscle. Hell, while we’re at it, how about a back-up liver and brain too.
Oh, and the better knees, healing teeth, and spider powers.
May 24th, 2006 at 12:30 am
Also, bigger boobs on chicks.
May 24th, 2006 at 12:31 am
I thought that went without saying.
May 24th, 2006 at 12:32 am
It’s better not to take a chance.
May 27th, 2006 at 1:28 am
Bigger boobs on chicks? Hah! They’ll sag, then tell me what you think.
If you want bigger boobs, let’s start small. Anti-sagging tissue implants. This way the already-large breasts will sag much less than they normally would, because the tissue would be more resistant to force. Think of it like kevlar. Flexible, light-weight, doesn’t stretch easily.
Personally, I prefer smaller pairs. This way I don’t have large objects in the way of physical contact, I won’t have a distraction, etc.
Sag makes me sad.
May 27th, 2006 at 2:48 am
I thought it was all about the ass. Am I wrong?
May 27th, 2006 at 3:10 am
Jada, you’re right. I’ll take A over T any day.
May 27th, 2006 at 6:08 pm
ass and titties ass ass and titties (tom i bet u delete this)
May 27th, 2006 at 6:10 pm
I steadfastly refuse to delete that, Cam.
May 28th, 2006 at 3:33 pm
Not only can we digest raw meat but it’s also far more digestible than cooked meat. I only eat meat raw. My diet is 100% raw with over a pound of raw meat a day, 12-14 raw eggs a day, a few glasses of raw milk, raw butter, raw cheese, etc. Only raw food. I’ve been doing this for 4 months now and I’m healthier than I’ve been in years.
If everyone ate the raw diet with enough raw meat and high quality raw fats like butter then almost no one would have cavities. Everyone’s teeth would be straight and strong. I’d assume that there’d also be less knee problems or any kind of physical problems.
So that only leaves the claws and running on four legs… But the claws would get in the way of our daily tasks such as writing, typing, folding laundry, doing dishes, etc. And running on four legs would ruin our ability to stand upright. I’d rather have super human strength and speed. But that would be cool to be able to run on all fours somehow.
March 26th, 2008 at 6:06 pm
14 eggs & over a pound of raw meat per day?
70 grams of protein is the most you need per day. A diet like that seems to be the kind of over consumption that makes any further evolution unlikely.