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Warren Sapp is old, fat, loud, and washed up

I’ve already called out the Chunky-Thighed One thrice on the jotsheet. Let’s put the finishing touches on this dog ‘n pony show. Warren Sapp, get the hell out of the NFL, you fat, worthless piece of crap.

Listen, Warren. I don’t know you managed to convince the Raiders to sign your fat ass to a contract. It seems as if someone told you that you’re worth your weight in fried chicken, because I’ll be damned if you don’t eat like you believe in the adage. But let me tell you, Oakland got the raw end of the Warren-as-Human-KFC-Dumpster deal. Check out these stats, projected through the end of 2004:

TOT	SOLO	AST	SACK	STF	STFY	FF
38	28	10	1	2	6	0

Now let’s compare him to Tommie Harris, the Bears’ rookie defensive tackle. Happily, Harris is not a lard-ass and also holds a job as football player, not professional glutton.

TOT	SOLO	AST	SACK	STF	STFY	FF
49	33	16	5	9	25	1

And if you don’t know what any of this crap means, check the glossary.

32 Responses to “Warren Sapp is old, fat, loud, and washed up”

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  1. 31
    Sara Militello Says:

    I think Warren Sapp is one of the best players to come out of the NFL and his stats show that. And as for his attitude to a public that can give new meaning to the word “rude”, he does not owe the public anything more than to perform well in the position for which he was paid to perform. The public does not own anyone.

  2. 32
    Celonica Melton Says:

    Warren Sapp is one of the best players that has ever entered into the NFL. He can’t help it that he’s an out spoken person that don’t hold his tongue for nothing or noone.Sapp is the best and I love the hell out of him. So people needs to stop being haters!

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