ESPN Sunday Night Football announcers: you’re idiots
Amazingly, I used to like ESPN Sunday Night Football. These days, it’s just gotten unbearable.
Someone needs to take cut off Paul Maguire’s supply of cocaine. That’s the only explanation for what’s going on with this guy. He really takes it too far with his ranting and raving. I mean, there’s nothing intrinsically wrong with ranting—I do it all the time myself—but Maguire babbles like a drunken construction worker watching the game in a bar. Worse yet, he’s wrong—consistently. Wrong on the spot of the ball. Wrong on penalties. Wrong on challenges. It’s sad.
Joe Theismann isn’t quite as bad as Maguire, but he’s still a piece of work. In a different announcing team, he might be bearable, but Maguire brings out all his bad tendencies. And then there’s the reminiscing about his playing days. Look man, that’s long gone. We know you played. Most color commentators played football, and most of them don’t embarrassingly gab to the audience like you do. We’ll take a raincheck.
And Mike Patrick. In a sneaky way, he may be the worst of the lot. On a network which hypes and hypes and hypes the big-name players in order to further their own ratings, Mike Patrick is an eerily efficient hype himself. Ray Lewis this, Ty Law that, Donovan McNabb this, Ben Roethlisberger that. In the course of a game, his primary goal is not to describe the action on the field, but to tout the exploits of key, hype-able players.
The sad thing is that ESPN does a great job of producing Sunday Night Football, second only to ABC (same parent company) for Monday Night Football. But comparing Al Michaels and John Madden to the ESPN Sunday night team is no comparison. MNF is a joy. SNF is painful.
More info on the crappiness of ESPN Sunday Night Football’s announcing team
- Paul Katcher agrees with me: “ESPN’s Sunday Night Football Crew Worse Than Gigli“
- Dan McKinley agrees too. The Sunday night ass-clowns are driving him to violence.
- Paul Katcher’s ESPN Sunday Night Football Drinking Game
- Dr Z’s Sixth Annual TV Commentator Awards (the SNF team gets 1/2 star [ouch!])
November 6th, 2005 at 10:36 pm
those fucking morons make me sick with their bullshit. i actually like football less because of them. that takes a lot my friend. those assmonkeys need to hit the road.
November 13th, 2005 at 8:20 pm
The pregame “rap” tonight was disgusting. It was vulgar, insulting, and degrading. Do you think only ghetto blacks watch this show. I have spent 40 yrs. trying to teach young people to respect their successes. Then, you start a wonderful Pitt. vs Clev. game with low class rap. You have lost this viewer.
November 14th, 2005 at 10:27 am
The announcers never know who they are talking about. There talking about Hines Ward and saying that Charlie Batch had a nice diving catch. This happens every week for all the teams.
December 4th, 2005 at 8:50 pm
Paul Maguire’s stupidity has just made me stop watching an exciting SNF game.
December 9th, 2005 at 10:13 am
Not just the 3 clowns in the booth are bad, but how about that mouth that never shuts up, Susie. Someone tell her to shut up so I can watch the game and not her, please.It’s as if when she starts and has her face in the camera she does not want to give it up. Who cares about what she seems to think is so important anyway.
Fire them all, please!!!
December 11th, 2005 at 8:53 pm
I think Green Bay should sign T.O.!They sure could use a great reciever.I think the na sayers who complain about him should play checkers. The fans,coaches and oweners want a hard hiting came,but when it comes to a little showing off they all get up-set. Now about that coach played Donavan McNabb untill they cripeled him.He may never return. The coach is a moron. Come on people Football used to be a contact sport its becoming a church social. T.J. Wodarczyk
December 11th, 2005 at 11:05 pm
Packers,Packers,Packers all of Sunday night football’s announcers are in favor of the terrible Packers.They suck and Favre used to be good but looooooook at there record and int’s but they are not Favre’s fault.Come on people he sucks so why favor him.When the Lions were winning these people were saying that the Lions need to step up their offense?Hello they are winning.How can I express my feelings to them.This is just one example and John Madden is extremely terrible also!!!!!!!!!Thank you
December 18th, 2005 at 4:26 pm
i think patrick, theismann, and maguire talk their fuckin mouths off about unreal, non-game bullshit all 60 mins on espn snf. They need to just limit their god gamn words and quit annoying the fuck outta me. I hope others feel this way. Their voices just make me not wanna love football anymore.
January 1st, 2006 at 6:17 pm
I agree with the knocks on the ESPN Sunday night crew…they suck……also I think Al Michaels-John Madden suck …esp Michaels…his voice grates on me like nails on a chalkboard…..best announcers IMNO…Gary Thorne (gets me interested in any game he does…way underutilized), Dick Enberg (smooth and classy)….I’ll watch any game done by those 2, other than that, none come to mind.
January 1st, 2006 at 8:39 pm
I disagree with the comments on Sunday Night Football. I thoroughly enjoy Paul McGuire and Joe Theisman. I can’t disagree with the comments regarding Mike Patrick though.
How can you not like Paul McGuire. The comment regarding cocaine was uncalled for. Paul McGuire was one of the greatest hitting AFL players, and he brings the same enthusiasm to the broadcast booth. He woulndn’t make a good play-by-play guy, but I think he is the best color guy out there. He brings insight that is unprecedented, especailly for the non-football types.
January 1st, 2006 at 9:38 pm
I think it’s great that you acknowledge the people who make the telecast happen.. So do it and shut-up. I watch Sunday night football to see and listen to football. your paid to announce the game. So, get on task………
January 1st, 2006 at 10:06 pm
I have had it. Why don’t the announcers be quiet and let us HEAR what is going on?? We may not be going to the playoffs….but please make those announcers……and the gal on the sidelines stop talking while they are playing! I am a Cowboy fan. Its our last of the season….Let us at least hear it!
January 7th, 2006 at 11:28 pm
I’ve already posted this on another message board, but I’ll re-post, because I share your collecting hatred very deeply.
Please, for the sake of your network, Fire the entire crew of Sunday NIght Football: Mike Patrick, Joe Thiesmann, and Paul Maguire. These guys aren’t qualified to comment on paraplegic pee-wee football much less the NFL. Every element of their commentary screams unprofessionalism.
First, these guys never let each other finish a sentence. Their constant interruption, and not just when the play occurs, makes their presentation look like a junior high class debate; where everyone inserts their opinion or thoughts as often as possible, ultimately amounting to a net 0 sum.
Second, their level of bias is truly astromomical. Now, I know some will argue that Fox nad CBS have tons of biased broadcasters. True, but none of them parade their one-sided nature in nearly palpable nature, and certainly not on a primetime stage. The most obvious example; Michael Vick. Anytime the Falcons play, their entire broadcast is a race for who can plant more kisses on Vick’s ass. Thiesmann’s actaully been quoted as saying “yes, he overthrew his wide-open receiver, but that was the most beautiful incompletion I’ve ever seen”. They praise him on a weekly basis, regardless if he plays or not. Vick’s become a media darling, but no one furthers this redundant notion of his invincibility than these three clowns.
However, their bias stems well beyond Vick. If anyone caught the Bucs game, the entire crew, particularly Thiesmann, threw nothing but praise towards the refs; during every poor review, bad call, or lack thereof. Their lone criticism…. the only major penalty called against the Redskins; Taylor’s 15 yard unsportsmanlike conduct. All three of them, despite the Redskins already benenfitting from a saved TD, and a fumble that never happend, Screamed for 5 minutes about how clearly biased toward Tampa these officials are. They were DEMANDING a review (by the way, without realising that Taylor had spit in Pittman’s face, at which point they noted that once and ignored their previous criticism). If anyone can tell me with a straight face their constant pro-Redskin agenda had nothing at all to do with Thiesmann’s former employer, I’ll raise your 2-7 offsuit bluff right about now.
The most disturbing thought, this crew will now be calling Monday Night Football; the lone NFL product not enjoying booming ratings, and the very broadcast that needs a higher focus on the game and lesser focus on those calling it. Please ESPN, fire this crew and replace them with someone more capable. I know 3 dogs named Sally, Rufus and Buster that can at the very least mirror the performance of these three amigos.
January 9th, 2006 at 11:18 am
thank u for your info
January 9th, 2006 at 4:30 pm
I can’t believe that no one on this blog has mentioned what I consider to be THE single most annoying element of the SNF crew - the gross over use of the transition “Ya Talk About…”. Can these guys get a new line or a dictionary or thesaurus or something - or just say whatever it is they want to say about whoever they’re talking about without first saying “Ya Talk About…”
I will say that I actually don’t mind Theisman - I think he makes the most intelligent comments of the crew. It’s really Paul Maguire who is the biggest perpetrator of this idiotic transitional phrase - but I swear they say it like 50 times per game - I think this would make a much better drinking game than the previous suggestion. “Ya talk about a guy who’s a real class act.” “Ya talk about a quarterback who can lead a team.” “Ya talk about a guy ya can’t afford to lose to an injury in a big game.” “Ya talk about a franchise player.” “Ya talk about an old school competitor.” “Ya Talk about Ya Talk about Ya talk about Ya talk about.” I propose the creation of a single word yatalkabout - of native american derivation -so at least they can just say it in one gasp so it’s less noticable.
Seriously, I don’t hate the SNF team that much, I love watching football too much to really hate them that much - and I know there is a certain relatability to the average person that’s going on there, but seriously, ya talk about a group of guys who over use a single pharse, and that’s the SNF crew on ESPN.
January 27th, 2006 at 2:10 am
ESPN’s Three Stooges Go out With Zero Stars
On Thursday, SI.com published the column I most look forward to reading every year: Dr. Z.’s Annual TV Commentator Awards. I enjoy it for several reasons: 1. It breaks up the Super Bowl hype. Ya know, in those years…
September 11th, 2006 at 7:59 pm
Joe Thiesman, is the most anoying voice in football. Can ESPN at least find a color man
WHO DOESN’T CHEER FOR A TEAM, WHILE IT’S BEING PLAYED! (REDSKINS MONDAY NIGHT)
September 18th, 2006 at 9:15 pm
I read the comments about the Sunday Noght announcers with great amusement. Paul McGuire a coke head? I dunno. However I agree that these guys and most other announcers are virtually worthless.
There’s a great solution for those not wanting to deal with these or any other annoying announcers. It’s a new technology revolution called DVR, or TIVO. Simply start recording and pause the game before it starts (or anytime you want).
After about 45 minutes, roll the game and FF past the stupid comments and insipid commercials. It makes watching football a completely different experience-YOU ARE IN CONTROL. It’s very empowering. If you don’t have a DVR, GET ONE AND STOP WHINING!. If you cannot or won’t get a DVR or TIVO. Use the mute button instead.
DVR technology is a wonderful thing for sports fans, try it and you’ll never go back to voluntarily listening to BS especially when you don’t have to.
September 23rd, 2006 at 4:24 pm
Maguire is an idiot. The fact he is allowed in the booth shows that nepitism and stupidity are alive and well.
October 14th, 2006 at 4:53 pm
All that refered to Paul McGuire as an idiot…… I AGREE!!!!
November 24th, 2006 at 3:13 pm
During the Texas A&M/Texas football game I thought it a nice tribute to a pillar in Texas music history and fallen music legend Stevie Ray Vaughn when his statue in Austin came on the screen. That is until Paul whatshisname, your commentator, blurted out the comment “Looks like Zorro.” Is this how he responds to anyone he knows nothing about? Maybe it’s time he gets outside the booth, outside his own head, and takes a look in the mirror before throwing around idiotic, ignorant comments.
August 15th, 2007 at 12:54 am
I just tried to watch the Monday night football game of the 49ers and the broncos. Or I should say I tried to watch it. I can not believe that we had the season off and we still do not have any football announcers that are interested in football or can even announce the game. In the first 1/2 we interviewed some one on the side lines who broke a wrist and needed to address his fans. all the time missing the game in the back ground. Then we invited jerry Rice to the booth and we went thru his football carreer. all the time missing the game in the back ground. Then we went thru the michael Vick dog charges. all the time missing the game in the back ground. Then we went thru the best dressed men. all the time missing the game in the back ground. Then we made fun of the NFL spending 10 million dollars on the new review booth. Again missing the game in the back ground. You have 3-5 people in this announcer booth and i sure hope they are being paid minimun wage. I diots and comedians. They even tried to be so cute at one point that they called the football field “Joe Walsh”. Not Bill Walsh—Joe Walsh. I would like to turn on the t.v. and watch the football game. Take John Maddens crayons away from him and don’t let him scribble on my game any more. Get these has beens and wantta be stars off the screen. Let the public watch the game being aired. No personell comments, No stupid jokes, No personell opinions, No stupid interviews, ect… LET ME SEE THE FOOTBALL GAME!!!! PLEASE!!!!! THANK YOU!!
August 17th, 2007 at 10:51 am
For goodness sake, don’t tell us that the current clowns in the both and Michelle will be calling the NFL Season. Only Jaws is qualified to be in the both and Michelle should be gone. 8/16/07 game was so silly and distrubing from a fan’s point. We had to endure interviews with airhead Michelle while the game was being played. Susie bonehad isn’t any better. Women just do not belong on the NFL games. There are plenty of former NFL players that can walk and chew gum at the same time who can effectively narrate football games. Unless ESPN changes personalities, I believe they will be losing viewers in significant numbers.
August 28th, 2007 at 3:08 pm
Enough with all the bullshit from Vick to those stupid announcers, especially espn’s tony the mouth.. I like football, turn on my set to watch “football” and when I want to watch the fucking news all night I will switch the channel. Leave this crap to the news channel please, and stop those morons from talking over the plays. I’ve watched football for thirty years but this shit makes me mad as hell..my “motto”, more “football” and much less “bullshit” from the announcers who need to work on their “job security”.
September 10th, 2007 at 10:02 pm
The sound could nt be worse. Come on!!!!
September 15th, 2007 at 11:54 pm
Keith olberman??? are you guys nuts??? you can’t get more un-american than keith the asshole olberman. why would you have somebody who’s so controversial
on the show when there are so many other choices???? bad move. my wife and i, and friends, aren’t going to watch if he’s a part of something that’s as american as football. have you ever listened to him rant on about our president? asshole—thats all you can say—asshole—sorry nbc—no way!!!! -marcus
November 5th, 2007 at 8:53 pm
Are you fucking kidding me?!? The Packers are freakin’ awesome, and heave been for a long, long time, son. And, in case, you missed it…Favre still has it.
November 18th, 2007 at 10:57 pm
To Al Michaels: Pleb is Army, Midi or Midshipman is Navy. Billacheck’s father could not be a pleb in the Navy. Unless that year they allowed Army guys in the Navy. None the less, we love you guys, and thanks for a great game.
December 17th, 2007 at 10:24 pm
I do not know how to say it better so I must quote “snf blows mega-cock” from November 6th, 2005 at 10:36 pm
“those fucking morons make me sick with their bullshit. i actually like football less because of them. that takes a lot my friend. those assmonkeys need to hit the road.”
The bullshit tonight on PTI (the worst part of the Monday Night program) about Jessica Simpson being the cause of Tony Romo’s poor performance made me gag. What is this football of Entertainment Tonight?
Please give me my Madden!
December 17th, 2007 at 10:33 pm
Tony Kornhiser is the worst annoncer ever he dosnt say more than 50 words in 2minutes during a game WAHT DO U PAY HIM 4 he sucks