Apple sucks (in one FAQ)
I hate the Apple thing. It’s a “cultural problem.” More specifically, the turtlenecked, Steve Jobs, thumb-up-the-ass, liberal-with-too-much-money “cultural problem.”
The ramifications? Well, ridiculously expensive hardware, for one. A CEO cast in the image of L. Ron Hubbard. A collective arrogance among Apple owners that “we know better,” quite similar in fact to the tilting-at-windmills of Bose WaveRadio™ owners (ha!). And maybe the worst? The worst? The advertising.
But here’s a piece of arrogance that’s indisputable. It doesn’t even take a rant from me to point it out. The assclowns at Apple do a good job of it themselves. From ArsTechnica: Apple’s disingenuous ratings system confuses, amuses. A snippet:
People who shop online are undoubtedly familiar with “user reviews” of products showing up on websites. … But when you look at any of the products that Apple sells, you’ll see something different: no reviewer comments are allowed, and the product is rated 5 out of 5 “Apples.” Normally ratings will range from 0 to 5 stars. So what gives? Apple has this to say in their FAQ.
What is the Apple rating?
We give all Apple products a rating of “5 Apples” because we think they’re great.Earlier today it also read, “Why can’t customers rate Apple products? Would you trust us to display less-than-perfect ratings on our own products? We didn’t think so.”
Here’s a nice analogy. You go a grocery store and buy the generic, store-brand corn flakes. Once home, you find they’re stale and taste awful. You take them back to the manager and demand a refund. “Sorry,” he replies. “We don’t allow complaints about our brand of cereal. We think it’s great.”
Then they wised up and removed the ratings for their own products. Fine. Great. Did it really take a collective outcry of blogosphere common sense for Apple to change their ratings and FAQ from:
- “Would you trust us to display less-than-perfect ratings on our own products?” to
- “We give all Apple products a rating of ‘5 Apples’ because we think they’re great.” to
- no ratings at all?
WTF?
You know what I think is great, Apple? That even with all the fucking hype you get on blogs (like this one!), you’re still only 3% of the market. Put that in your iMac and smoke it, (Hand)Jobs.
March 12th, 2008 at 3:48 pm
Oh come on! If Apple products were obviously bad and the company so obviously crappy, then they wouldn’t be gaining marketshare each quarter, slowly and surely (btw, it’s not 3% anymore, folks). iTunes wouldn’t be the #2 music seller (soon to be #1), and you’d have nothing to blog about.
March 14th, 2008 at 12:33 am
Oh, I’m not disputing that Apple makes some great products (and some screwups, too). And they may well gain more market share. It’s just that having worked here for a while, I have to say it’s the only job I’ve ever had that I really have not liked. You get politics everywhere, but in my opinion the lack of straightforwardness and the turf wars and backstabbing are worse here than anywhere else I’ve seen. And there’s much more of an attitude that Apple is some sort of Nirvana, so employees should be grateful to work here and not care about vulgar stuff like good compensation (fine, Steve Jobs looks so cool in his black turtle neck, but I’ve still got to put my kids thru college). Put it this way: I wouldn’t really recommend coming here to a friend. And I know I’m not the only one with these kinds of experiences around here. Will that hurt Apple’s bottom line? Certainly not in the current employment market. In a more competitive market for employers, maybe yes, b/c they do need to attract and retain good people.
March 14th, 2008 at 11:47 am
One P.S., to be fair. Apple does have a lot of bright and good people working for it, but some aspects of management that in my opinion don’t serve employees or perhaps the company very well in the long term.
March 14th, 2008 at 10:07 pm
I like Apple products to some extent (certainly more than PCs), but the original blog is correct in regards to the “we’re better and smarter than everyone else” attitude of Apple and it’s loyal customers. It’s like Starbucks… they make awesome coffee, but the associated attitude/atmosphere in your local Starbuck’s is something I avoid like the plague. It leaves me buying my Starbucks coffee online.
I honestly believe that if Apple would can the snooty, condescending attitude, and bring their prices down to Earth, they might just find themselves having a lot more market share than what they currently have. But as it is, they turn off a lot of potential buyers from an emotional standpoint; as well as a financial one.
March 20th, 2008 at 2:25 am
Dude, get a clue. Yes there are many thing about working at Apple I don’t like. But the compensation is not one of them. Salary plus options has put me higher than anything else in my 28 years in the industry. That said the level of secrecy sucks. I am senior and I can’t even know all about all the software and plans that affect my own design decisions? That is a waste of energy, talent and innovation. And on design mostly Apple doesn’t do any except seat of the pants over coffee when it comes to much of its hardware. No docs, no reviews except for public APIs. A major rev of the OS is hell. It isn’t built in layers. Everything is in flux simultaneously including dev tools! All engineers live on the raw next great thing (or not). We eat a lot of dog food so we don’t hire QA. As long as it eventually works everyone blesses the same broken process. How many creative mind get burned out banging on this landslide of in flux crap? How much productivity is wiped out year after year?
March 20th, 2008 at 2:26 am
oops. make that software not hardware in the above. I can speak for hardware side.
March 22nd, 2008 at 9:34 am
Getting downloads of Epson software that means that the printer will not work, then getting the right software, then getting software to make sure it cannot use generic cartridges and prints 3 pages instead of one, then getting new software with the fifth line italicized. Epson software for apple sucks.
March 25th, 2008 at 9:57 am
No, we hated Apple from time to time (Score:3, Insightful)
by postbigbang (761081) on Tuesday March 25, @09:56AM (#22856526)
Crappy, closed-technology machines. The cult of the single-button mouse. Reseller programs from hell. Lovely laser printers that became ultimately useless. Two wire AppleTalk networks with all of the speed of ISDN on a good day. Cute little useless Newtons. Servers that could never rise above simple workgroup needs. Special connections and exceptions needed to network with anything else but perhaps NFS or wicked Novell patches. Wonderful and proprietary (given few others used them) PPC CPUs. I’m sure others can count the way. Others can see the bloom on the rose, and I still have marks from the thorns. Oddly, I still use a PowerBook G4, alongside a heavy-duty (and less expensive) HP core-duo notebook. Only for games, of course….
March 31st, 2008 at 2:04 pm
All political correctness and such aside…Apple sucks. Apple users suck. Every encounter I have ever had with these zealots has me pulling my hair out. They are almost as bad as the Linux and Open Source zealots. Every Apple user that tries to make up reasons why their Macs are so great can’t seem to do anything more then rehash Apple’s own marketing drivel. They say shit like “it just works”. Apple does nothing but lie to their customers because they know what the rest of us who didnt waste our money on their crap knows, People who buy Macs dont know shit about computers. Apple doesnt want you to know anything about your machine. They want you to believe its ok to be uninformed. They just want your money. They dont give a shit about you. I keep hearing all this shit about innovation. I hate that word. Every company seems to have their own definition. Tell me, What’s so innovative about an iPod? Let’s see…..its a Harddrive in a stylish box with firmware attached that can play audio and video. Where’s the innovation there? How about Mac OsX? Its a posix compliant unix clone with proprietary software added. Hell….the only thing that made Macs unique in the past was the platform. Using the motorola series of cpu’s (remember though….that only made it unique after all the other computer companies (commodore, atari, amiga, ect.ect.ect.) that used this platform went belly up. So what is a Mac? It’s a PC. you are paying x amount more money for standard (or should I say sub-standard) hardware. How is it a PC? well….it uses and Intel CPU…connected to an Intel chipset…..that is based on the x86 code base….with your choice of outdated ATI/nVidia video…ect.ect. What makes the Mac unique now isnt its hardware….it isnt what it can do but what it CANT do. Which is run Windows natively without a hack even though Windows is designed up and down for x86 cpus. Why? Because Steve put a drm like chip in your over priced PC that moshes it all up. Why cant I run MAC OSX on my PC without a hack if its so great? Same reason. What about the enthusiasts? Can you go to newegg.com or some other place and buy MAC parts? Can you custom build me a MAC? Oh, so your mac has a pretty case and all. Are you overlooking the fact that with a PC I have an endless choice of cases provided by third parties that covers every facet of computer case aesthetic wankerdom? Do you know what a “third Party” is? How about upgrading your MAC? Say you wanna overclock your CPU…can you get a MAC motherboard?
Oh..I know I know…you bought a MAC because you dont care about all that stuff…you want something that “just works”. So in about 2 years when you are forced to buy and entirely new MAC and I spend maybe 1/8th of that on a few pop in cards/chips/ect. to get my PC back on the modern track Maybe we can all be friends and play Crysis online together. Oh wait…MAC’s cant play Crysis….or HL2…or any game that is actually cool for that matter.
April 30th, 2008 at 6:37 am
Apple sucks. Apple has always sucked. Apple will always suck.
The fact is that Mac OS is good; it’s far more stable than Windows and far more user-friendly than the average Linux distro (though the margin is getting smaller). Also, Apple is good at innovating.
But Apple is also good at demanding exorbitant amounts of cash in what is always a case of style over substance once rival products hit the market.
Well, at least Apple has finally started releasing some affordable notebooks but they better, now that they can’t even claim they’re running on better hardware.
In the end, I pity the misguided hipsters that are willing to pay top dollar for a shiny case with glowing Mac logo. One mouse button indeed.
May 26th, 2008 at 2:35 pm
They do suck… I have a new Nano and a new Nike +… Now the Nano is locked up and they want me to drive 45 minutes back to the store to troubleshoot….
F’in Apple Holes.
June 19th, 2008 at 4:17 pm
This Blog made my day..
<3 apple bash’n..
I use win/mac/*nix
Graphic Design @ work requires mac
the presses are network are win
an i choose Arch Linux as my @ home
an main desktop..
really everything sux.. to an extent..
make it better or drop using what is a waste of time..
Can’t say I agree w/apples tactics.. though the commercials are funny..
it’s USA .. USA pisses an shits on everything.. I just assume apple follows
in the footsteps of americans..
July 1st, 2008 at 2:06 am
I have the ipod nano. Bought the 2008 imac, and it sucks. Trying to copy and drag files is… The operating system is simple, and the programs are simple to knock out. I think my apple computer has a glass jaw. Where a non mac takes the hits and keeps on going. No, apple doesn’t get viruses? I would assert common sense when selecting a non apple. Apple and sucks are two words worth adding to the vocabulary for the newest hype. My only regret.
July 1st, 2008 at 2:15 am
I would recommend looking at the support/problems page at the apple site before the hammer falls at the local electronic store.
July 12th, 2008 at 3:35 pm
Apple really “SUCKS” let me give u the reasons !!
For instance they have recently introduced IPHONE
For people they are saying we have “REDUCE” the price for iPHONE so that every one can afford it ..In reality its a BIG LIE people don’t do the MATH if u buy this 3G iPhone u’ve to pay $10 extra than for data plan.. which used to $20 now its $30 so u r going to pay $240 extra in 2yrs for having this 3G iphone. $240+200 = $440 which used be $349.99 so u did pay the old cost + interest too.. in other words they make a small “INSTALLMENTS” for you.
2– if they r introducing new product why can’t they hire few more people for 2 weeks … but they don’t want to just to show that there always be LINE for people who want to have apple product.
MARKETING STRATEGY
3– They always give less number to AT&T stores so people have to end up in LINE outside of APPLE STORE. Grow-up !!
4– They should give RIGHT to people to choose 2G iphone v/s 3G iPhone not FORCE people to go for it…
5– DATA PLAN is one of other thing again they force people have to get it to use iphone …
well it to many things …this will be the NEVER ENDING STORY !
July 15th, 2008 at 4:31 am
I LOVE Apple. What I love more is how so many people are truly angry at Apple. For what??? Steve Jobs is a liberal with too much money? So Bill Gates is broke now? I haven’t read one valid reason for Apple to suck on here. If 3% market share can bring Steve Jobs billions, then i think he’s doing pretty good. As for the iPhone price, the Blackberry 8300 is $379 new and Treo isn’t far behind. The LG Dare is same price is iPhone. so what’s the deal? All smart phones are expensive. Grow up and complain to the Geek Squad. Your PC’s keep them in business.
July 17th, 2008 at 11:29 pm
I’d rather have the Geek Squad come to me or go to one of the other hundred of PC Repair shops within 25 miles of me than locate “my nearest Apple Authorized Service Provider”. And you definitely haven’t read one valid reason for Apple to suck here, because you definitely just scrolled to the end to wrote exactly what Apple wanted you to. I bet they even wanted those triple question marks.
July 22nd, 2008 at 8:23 pm
If there were ever a company whose motto seems to be “The customer is there to serve us” it would be Apple. From their stance that if you want to buy anything from Apple you have to be locked into them totally ad infinitum (both with the Mac and the Ipod) to the customer service that demands you make an appointment (with a maximum of 48 hours to make one) that seems incapable of understanding yet alone fulfilling customer requests (while designating themselves “geniuses”), to expectations that users purchase scores of products to replicate PC functionality, Apple treats customers like they’re there for the sole purpose of handing them money and telling them how great they are.
August 6th, 2008 at 10:39 am
The ones that whine about the “smug” attitude of Apple’s customers are the ones who worry a little TOO much about what people think.
I won’t explain why I use Apple computers because my reasons don’t matter to the world at large, thank you.
August 13th, 2008 at 8:10 am
apple sucks. Yeah the iPhone is shiny and I bought it for $450 8gb in aus. Jalebroken and no contract. Anyway. The iPhone suck balls. I can’t send or receive mp3. Have to pay for my ringtones but thanks to ppl that found the other way around. Slow laggy Internet. YouTube is by far the worst feature. Too slow and too god damn long to watch a 1:30 clip of happy tree friend. So apple can fuk off. They’ll never get a $$ from me. $450 that I paid for my iPhone goes to my friend. Not apple !!!
Oh and this
Sent from my iPhone
BIG fukin deal!!
August 20th, 2008 at 6:50 am
I’ve always liked having different computers ever since I had both C64 and a dos PC. I still have my home filled with various computers, old and new, that I use sometimes. I bought my first mac (iMac) a year ago, and been using it since in hopes it will turn out to be useful and not just eye candy.
So far everything I’ve done on it I’ve done either faster or better on a cheaper PC. Yes, everything, including the top points of a mac: drawing, video editting, music playing. After a year I don’t blame myself for just not knowing the right methods and ‘apps’, since I’ve tried out about everything there is to do with them. I’ve learned the shortcuts of OS X and spent nights trying to figure out the bugs and missing features in the command line level. Today just seeing the login screen makes me shut it down since I know I’ll just waste my time.
Why is this? PC operating systems offer so much more flexibility and they have a vast collection of solid, well working apps (I talk now about every PC OS, not just Windows.) So, this kinda changes my mind. It’s good to have diversity, but why would you spend $1400 for something you can already do better with existing hardware.. just because it’s made by Apple? Just because it’s thinner on your desk? Because you have a fobia about too many wires? For me, I just wanted to try it out, and try it out well.
I think the underlying reasons for the bad experience are simple. Mac has always wanted to be on its own. PC on other hand begun from the ideology of allowing anyone to do anything with the open architechture, and today you can see the fruits - fast CPU’s, fast 3D accelerators, countless add-on cards for anything you need, and low prices. Hundreds of companies producing hardware. Hell, it’s so good even Apple switched to it, though it’s limited to laptop level of expandibility unless you pay $3000 for the “pro”. :)
In total, I love the freedom of both PC hardware and software compared to the heavy restrictiveness of Mac software and hardware. I don’t mind using bulky looking computers.. they actually look quite effective and comfy. I don’t mind that my laptop has dozens of screws and holes instead of shiny plastic. I have the power to do whatever is possible by them, and that’s a lot more than a shiney-packaged, buggy and restrictive OS can do.
Something to think about:
“mac is reliable” - how is it better when it’s done today from the exact same components as PC’s? the design? You can’t even service it quickly yourself when something in it breaks. Nor can your neighbour’s kid.
“mac is just the way you want it to be” - nope, I can’t even change the theme of the user interface, and I can’t choose what graphics card I need in it, just for starters.
“mac just works” - I’ve spent more time rebooting and reinstalling it than my -windows- PC.
“with PC.. poof, the papers were just gone” - Learn how to save and backup, you’ll need those skills after your mac switch too. Why do you think they made Time Machine? For people who couldn’t do it.
What comes to other Apple products, I find generic MP3 players better since you can just copy the files to them and go. With latest iPods you need to use iTunes always, with complicated transfer of content to the player. You can’t share music with other people, something even a C-cassette made possible. You need a separate USB stick since you can’t move generic files on the player. Again, the restrictiveness and idiocity of Apple shines.. they don’t let you do what would be easily possible, yet they say it’s the way you want it.
August 27th, 2008 at 12:47 pm
http://www.asa.org.uk/asa/adjudications/Public/TF_ADJ_42723.htm
http://www.asa.org.uk/asa/adjudications/Public/TF_ADJ_44891.htm
More Apple lies
August 31st, 2008 at 3:52 pm
“Its a posix compliant unix clone with proprietary software added.”
which cannot multi-task in certain situations.
When downloading a 700 mb update it had to be the sole task and when the unfortunate user found it had been interrupted during the night it had to go back to the beginning to start downloading!
October 28th, 2008 at 9:13 am
I worked in apple before, they got rid of me, they told me that in 2 days time I had to go.My girlfriend works at Apple now, we haven t had a full week end together in almost a year, they also change the scheduling at the last minute, they stab you in the back, they think they own you, it looks like new slavery to me, BUT you have to keep smiling in the corridors wearing a pathetic I love APPLE tee shirt otherwise you don t fit in, in APPLE village you have to be happy, even thought you re not.It s excellent customer service and awful employment treatment.For those who want to work in APPLE i want to say good luck say good buy to your wife and kids…and don t expect to be paid double on a sunday, I could say a lot more but I have to stop.
November 26th, 2008 at 4:16 pm
Apple to oranges and the big cliche. It can be argued, apple is an acutely cliched novelty. Feeling like a loser having lost the data on the nano, I submit this as data to replace the data lost because of my awesome apple. I would like to add that if I had to chooses between electing bill gates or steve jobs for computer king and wizardry, it would be bill gates. Being the true pioneer for computing creation, gone and going through the challenges in creating and developing computerizing machines, including lack of cheap shot esque commercials, I would prefer bill gates to be recognized as wizard king of computing invention. After all this is apple sucks.
November 27th, 2008 at 8:42 am
my apple computer can be described in one sentence. a children’s elementary toy plastic frisbee with internet?
December 12th, 2008 at 8:17 am
iPods are fun. Lighten up. :)
January 1st, 2009 at 2:11 pm
All the major computer companies suck for the same reason: they are greedy corporations. I began to hate Apple in the 1970’s when a customer’s Apple II died and I noticed that all the IC numbers had been carefully sanded off to prevent service. It all went downhill after that. The best machines are now made by twelve-year-olds in their parents’ basements. What is there to love about stinking Dell? HP/Compaq? Nauseating eMachines? They are all selling scams in the form of non-standard computers. If you can’t think for yourself a computer won’t help you. This is the awful truth most computer users deny. If you hate your local economy and environment, go ahead, buy a pre-made, non-standard machine. If you care, visit a good vendor (like Newegg, but there are many) and roll your own. It will be made with standard parts and be upgradable much, much longer, and much cheaper overall. Oh, and by the way, all software costs the same: NOTHING. Pirate the lot and screw all the corporations. I have NEVER purchased copy protected software. Not one byte (starting with a lovely hacked copy of Lotus 1-2-3). Neither should anyone with more than two functioning synapses. One of my favorite programs (DVDFab Platinum 5) is both pirated and illegal to possess. The day you can no longer pirate is the day I throw my computer in the garbage. But then, I have found my best hardware there, including discarded hard drives full of REALLY juicy shit. God, how stupid the rich talking monkeys are. No wonder America has turned to corporate fascist crap. If computers help us at all, it will be the work of hackers and pirates, not simians in suits.
January 2nd, 2009 at 3:47 pm
Guys, I’ve been a an Windows user since the early 90’s. In September 2008 I got a Macbook to see what all the fuss was about! Well it’s been 4 months and I like my Macbook.But guess what? I like my Windows machines as well! It all depends on my mood that day. I’m a photographer and have done ALL editing on my Windows machines over the years. I find no advantage to editing on my mac. I have recently started working in video production and find Final Cut a pleasure to use. I do like the App choices in Windows better and Ill have to agree you kind of get locked into the Mac Matrix with itunes.