jotsheet

Let’s see. It’s November 4^th, two days after Election Day, one day after Kerry conceded, and politics are the talk of the nation. Thus, I figured it would be appropriate to discuss… Halloween.

So I’m late to the blogging party. Well, no matter—I wasn’t invited anyhow. I’ve still got a few things to say about Halloween.

I entered last weekend with a decidedly negative view of Halloween. I figured that it doesn’t have much of a point; sure, it carries the practice of dressing up and eating candy, but it lacks any higher meaning. I still think that’s true, but after talking with my dad on Saturday, I’m now in the “Who cares if it’s meaningless?” camp. The meaninglessness of Halloween is actually nice in a sense, since there’s no pressure to celebrate it and there’s no travesty in “commercializing” it. Honestly, I think very few people are interested in the Wiccan origins of this odd little celebration.

With a change of heart re: Halloween on Saturday, I was mentally prepared to enjoy it on Saturday night and later on Sunday. Here, I observed several strong trends in the celebration of Halloween that are incredibly obvious and well-known, yet I feel compelled to discuss them nevertheless. Let’s begin.

1. Little kids in costumes are incredibly cute.

   They’re cute normally, but when they dress up as Superman and Spiderman and hula girls, they’re ridiculously cute. Adults seem to be making a run at Halloween of late, but kids will always own it.

2. People don’t know how to trick or treat anymore.

   Notice I don’t say “kids,” although they’re clueless too. It’s the parents that are the problem. It’s become commonplace these days to drive your kids around to houses to trick or treat (and strangely enough, the vehicle always seems to be a Ford Windstar). What kind of lame shit is that? Your lazy ass won’t even walk with your kids for half an hour to get some candy? What kind of work ethic will that instill in your pathetic spawn? None, I say! None! So don’t blame me when your lazy kids grow up to be lazy, fat teenagers who drop out of high school and work at Arby’s for ten years.

3. Girls magically turn into sluts on Halloween.

   Yes, I know—you’ve already realized this fact. I’m not saying I’m the first person to point it out, but I’m going to rant about it nonetheless. Halloween, as I mentioned above, is a completely voluntary holiday. That girls inevitably “go ho” on October 31^st confirms my latent theory that girls are just looking for an excuse to look skanky. Oh sure, they don’t want to call themselves skanky—they’ll blame their style on the media or “peer pressure.” But here, in this completely voluntary celebration, they dress up like they’re going to go work a Reno brothel. Explain that next time you whine about the media objectifying women.

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