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Nix the flip-flops

I work on Michigan Avenue, north of the Loop, and it’s a haven for marketing and advertising chicks. Thus, I see these goddamn flip-flops all over the place. Who approved this? They’re wearing pantsuits with thong sandals. That is flat-out retarded!

Flip-flops are bad for several reasons. Allow me to enumerate:

  1. They are ugly.
  2. They are especially ugly on girls with bad feet, and believe me, not all of you chicks out there could be foot models for Delia’s.
  3. They are uncomfortable.
  4. They are impractical. Try running down the street in a pair.

The case is closed on flip-flops. They are passable only in very casual situations, and even then, a nice pair of Romanesque leather sandals (like mine!) are superior.

27 Responses to “Nix the flip-flops”

  1. 1
    doug fisher Says:

    Ok, so you’ve got 1 actual reason why flip flops are bad, them being impractical. The rest of your “reasons” are just your useless opinions. Why do you have so much beef with a certain footwear? I think flip flops are excellent, the pair I have are very comfortable, and as impractical as they are (being unable to run in them) I can’t say I’ve had a case in ten years where I had to actually run really hard wearing my flip flops. However, when I do a light sprint they stay on just fine. So the case isn’t closed on flip flops. They’re easy to put on and easy to take off, perfect for lazy people like me. Your romanesque leather sandals are not superior unless you’re a 50 year old suffering from mid life crisis.. bitch.

  2. 2
    tom sherman Says:

    Oh, ends with a flourish!

  3. 3
    LDM Says:

    I know this one chick, SM from the fmnh who is truly a flip flop hater. SM I will make sure that I buy you a pair for your birthday.

    Love you
    LM

  4. 4
    Giorgio Says:

    flip flops look sexy on women in dressy clothing.

  5. 5
    Jurgen Benter Says:

    Some of the flip flops they make for women should be worn by men also. like the aqua color and soft pink, why is it that only men are able to wear pink shirts, but not pink sandals.

  6. 6
    deanna Says:

    I have flat feet, so my only option for comfort in the summer are flip flops.

  7. 7
    T D T Says:

    I live in NC. There are 5 colleges in my area and I see women wearing flip flops all the time. Actually I think they look sexy on a woman. A nice blouse or t-shirt, some jeans and flip flops. I find it attractive. It’s also a sense of laid back carefree attitude. When I have chatted with these women. They have more things to be concerned about than what people think about there feet. Also I notice that they don’t have corns, bunions or hammer toes. They are the first to go out barefooted if possible and actually have heathier feet that thier high-heeled counterparts.

  8. 8
    Robert Says:

    Everywhere you go nowadays you see women walking around in flip flops. I think they’re ugly and tacky looking. Whatever happened to sexy high heels? I prefer a woman who tries to look good rather than one who walks around like she’s about to throw the garbage.

  9. 9
    lee Says:

    i remember when flip flops were shower shoes and that is the only time you saw them at PE in the locker room…where they still belong….

  10. 10
    Ray Anthony Says:

    Ditto for me on nixing the flip flops! Men first and foremost SHOULD NOT WEAR FLIP FLOPS, for one I don’t want anyone to see my feet while dining or at a club or in a public place and I certainly don’t want to see yours neither. We live in the midst of dangerous times and should something go off the hook like 9/11 again and you flip flop wearing sissy men are running for your life and trip and fall, and because why?, because your wearing flip flops and see I CNN footage of such an event I will indeed laugh my ars off. Your deserve what comes your way. What if you lose your precious flip flops and have to escape from somewhere in the streets and or a scenario where rubble is strewn everywhere? Your screwed! Now for the ladies…Business attire and flip flops are just a fashion police swat team ready to raid but that’s your choice however allot of you ladies don’t have the feet that need to be seen in public. Here’s some tips: Lose weight and take a shower. If you have to wear them buy a few pairs for Gods sake and wash them regularly. Dirty soles in your flip flops makes me sick and do something with your feet for the love of God! Another words if you paint your toe nails keep up on doing so. You look just like a crack whore skank with your chipped and pealing paint jobs. Now for you sweet petite and pedicure feet real ladies who keep themselves up, keep on working those sexy little ankles hard when your walking and your hot tippy toeing that drives me crazy! Once again men, your not Gladiators or Maximus! Your feet are ugly and should be kept hidden from view, you look gay and I’ll see you in the obituaries should something go down. But not to worry I’m sure your surviving family members will be sure to happily sue the flip flop company’s ass off because it was their fault you were wearing flip flops that “didn’t stay on” when running for your life!

  11. 11
    Evan Tishuk Says:


    Your romanesque leather sandals are not superior unless you’re a 50-year-old suffering from mid life crisis… Bitch.

    ROFL. Agreed. They’re also acceptable at the renaissance fair. Bitch.

  12. 12
    Paul Says:

    It is obvious (though I admit never actually watching the TV show) but the program “Queer Eye For The Straight Guy” has tragically taken root in our culture.
    Flip flops on men is effeminate, PERIOD!
    I challenge any man’s sexuality if they are to go around in public in open toe shoes.
    As for women, there might be 5% of them, (based on their looks,demeanor and clothing) that actually look good wearing flip-flops.
    Who thinks it is attractive to walk around with ones barefeet 1/4 of an inch away from everything on the sidewalk that ryhmes with spit. Do you boil your feet when you go home?
    I had to roll my eyes when I was told that someone I am (unfortunately) acquainted with ,broke his ankle falling down a flight of stairs wearing flip-flops.
    Apparently he blamed it on ill-fitting flip-flops. YEAH - THEY ARE ILL-FITTING ALLRIGHT!

  13. 13
    jr Says:

    I puke at every time I get a sight of flames, so called men, wearing flops. Utterly atrocious, and tres ghey. What real man wants to announce when he’s approaching because of ghe damn noise these things make .. truly ghey.

  14. 14
    m.fe. Says:

    Dude, why is everyone hating on flipflops nowadays? i may only be 17 but i am pretty sure about 80% of guys in school and in life wear flip flops, if you can’t deal then just shutup, becuase you are not winning this “fight” that is going on here…flip flops are great and i love them. get over yourself, its one part of your body..thats like me saying men shouldnt wear shorts cuz their legs are ugly.

  15. 15
    rondy Says:

    Unfortunately, the growing fondness for flip-flops by men is just another example of the rising “wimpification” of the American male, in which men think that in order to show they relate to women, they have to dress like them, too.
    It’s like all those wimpy guys who dutifully follow their girlfriends/wives around in grocery stores like pathetic, mindless sheep - meekly asking their significant others, “Do we need mustard, honey?” (While waiting to finally get through the check-out line, when their wives/girlfriends might - MIGHT - agree to hand them back their “for show only” testicles!)

  16. 16
    james Says:

    what happened to the american man. you rarely hear the word man onTV(transvestite), they prefer to use words like guy(gay), dude(dud), homeboy(boy), person(son), etc. It appears that for some reason we strive for an androgynous society. Nowadays couples share nair and flip flops.I now pronounce you guy and wife. goodluck!

  17. 17
    Hecate Says:

    There’s nothing wrong striving for an androgynous society anyway. In my opinion, too many things are based on gender. Power to the boys that shop in the “girls” section for jeans. Now on to the flip flop thing. I don’t see anything wrong with men wearing flip flops. Can’t men express themselves as much as women do? I agree with the person somewhere up there. This arguement about flip-flops is pointless. Criticizing people based on opinions will not change anything. If you tell a man you don’t like the way flip-flops look on him because it looks “feminine” or his feet look ugly, well, who’s the stupid one then? Someone might as well walk up and slap you. The only way the flip flop thing will change is if more people pay attention to what the doctors have to say about flip flops destroying the natural arch in the foot and damaging the foot and leg. Other than that, it’s pointless.

  18. 18
    Fuk-q Says:

    Let’s see…

    My boyfriend who is completely straight…

    Plays sports.
    Carries a firearm.
    Rides a motorcycle.
    Does lot’s of other *guy* things…

    He also wears flip flops and doesn’t have ugly feet.

    So why should he stop wearing them?

    He’s more masculine than most of the guys I have been with in the past.

  19. 19
    Terry Says:

    I see that there are a lot of flip flop haters on here. Does it really bother you people that much when you see somebody wearing flip flops or do you just want something to grumble about? Do you want to control people, tell others what to do, how to live? If it really bothers you people when you see somebody wearing flip flops I have a very simple solution for that. You don’t have to look. I love flip flops, they are in a class by themself. Flip flops are wonderful, they are extremely comfortable and a lot of fun to wear. It is really a shame that so many people have horrible things to say about them. I’m going to keep wearing my flip flops and I’m not going to apologize for it, if any of you people don’t like it you better find a way to deal with it. What other people thinks about me is something I stopped worrying about a long time ago, so if any of you wants to say or think bad things about me wearing flip flops go right ahead and do it.

  20. 20
    stefan Says:

    I can’t understand why anyone would voluntarily wear flip flops. They are the most uncomfortable footwear I can think of. And they look cheap, in particular the plastic/foam ones. People in poor countries wear those because they can’t afford anything else.

  21. 21
    flipflopsblowdog Says:

    women who wear flip flops are lazy sloths and guys who wear them are just douchey fags. flip flops are the ugliest and faggiest invention EVER!!!

  22. 22
    flipflopsblowdog Says:

    yep, i gotta agree with mr. tom sherman.
    the case really IS closed on flip flops- and the verdict is: THEY SUCK MONKEY BALLS!!!

  23. 23
    david Says:

    Flip flops on a young woman are the sexiest thing i can imagine, especially when they have tanned athletic feet. i also love the seductive sound they make when walking and women seem to like to accentuate this. viva flip flops!

  24. 24
    flipflopsblowdog Says:

    no dave, you are wrong. flip flops are the ugliest damn things ever. they are the worst thing ever. if they are the sexiest thing you can imagine- you have a really REALLY weak imagination.
    muerte de flip flops!!!!

  25. 25
    Jonathon Livingston Says:

    Flip flops: When you don’t even care enough to dress!
    These hideous pieces of cheap plastic, semi-attached to people’s feet don’t even have the right to be called ‘footwear’.
    Bare feet or sandals are preferable, or else shoes, sneakers, even slippers are better than those shameful plastic shells which belong in the shower.

  26. 26
    Jonathon Livingston Says:

    Doctors say they’ve seen a lot more foot-related injuries over the past few years —particularly in patients in their 20s and 30s-all attributed to flip-flops. Injuries range from stubbed toes and heel pain to tendonitis and even sprained or broken ankles.

  27. 27
    cheritycall Says:

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    I added this blog about this subject:
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