Observations on flying
First things first: Don’t fly ATA. I don’t call it the “Greyhound of the Skies” for nothing. I don’t care how good the fare is—it ain’t worth it. Southwest? Sure. But ATA is just a hair’s breadth away from Amtrak.
Another thing for you Chicago folks: ATA’s all about the Midway, and Midway’s all about herding you around like cattle. It’s like traveling third class on the Titanic. Stick to the North Side.
United? Several notches up. This morning they actually served hot croissant breakfast sandwiches (!) in economy class, something I thought had fallen by the wayside in the post-9/11, ultra-competitive era of airline travel. (On ATA, you’ll be paying $5 for a turkey sandwich for dinner. Sad.) It’s too bad that I had to deal with Every Airline Traveler’s Worst Nightmare directly behind me this morning: a fussy baby. Ahem. The whole fucking time. I think that parents should be required to sedate their children prior to boarding. Could the TSA enforce this? Most of those folks don’t seem all that busy, anyhow.
Mmm, and the in-flight movie was a doozie: Jersey Girl. Next time I have to fly, I’m requesting “no Ben Affleck movie” in the “special meal instructions” section of my reservation. At least in this particular sap-fest, Jennifer Lopez dies early on. I suppose it wasn’t all bad.
Oh, and Stevie Wonder flew in first class. He came with a bodyguard accessory, and one of the air marshals got out of coach to fly in first class nearby. Maybe he’d be a high-value hostage? Who knows how they do these things. Stevie freshened up in the bathroom as soon as he got on. Otherwise, highly unremarkable. Yay.