The Day After fucking Tomorrow! What a movie! They don’t get much more ridiculous than this one, brother. Take Independence Day, change the aliens for various and sundry deadly weather disasters, and you’ve got yourself one hell of a summer blockbuster. Now that’s good shit.
Except it’s horrible. Wow, that’s a bad movie. Luckily, I saw the film in a packed theater of drunken, post-Dillo Day Northwestern students who enthusiastically jeered the laughable dialog as loudly as I did. Favorite moments in the movie:
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I am sick and damn tired of hearing about the “horrible offense” of the NBA East Finals and the great series between the Timberwolves and the Lakers. Puh-lease. The Timberwolves are inept and can’t hit a shot. The Lakers are too busy kissing Jack Nicholson’s ass to worry about playing basketball. Meanwhile, the Pistons and the Pacers are a playing duke-it-out, old school series in the East and people are actually complaining. It’s sad.
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As a rule, I don’t watch reality shows. As a rule, I don’t watch the WB. Tonight, I broke both rules, and boy am I glad for it.
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It’s the nitty-gritty game-time, baby. Pick-up basketball at SPAC. I’m leading my team to victory. Drive to the lane, pull up for the arching finger-roll over the outstretched hands of two leaping defenders.
Land on his foot, roll all my weight onto the outside of my right foot. Twist the ankle. Collapse in excruciating pain. Hobble off the court.
But dude, look at those cool bruises. Purplish bruising on both sides of my heel? That’s once-in-a-lifetime right there.
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In time, sports evolve, and hopefully, we as participants figure out the crappy rules and fix them. For the most part, we have successfully followed this path. The major sports flow along fairly well, with the rules (for the most part) barring opportunities for exploiting situations and preventing general fan boredom.
Even so, a few terrible rules remain in sports. Oftentimes, problems with the rules are not the rules per se, but the application of the rules.
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PETA, the venerable guardians of animal dignity, have made me aware of a very disturbing situation. It seems that a few cads at some high school in Pennsylvania are going to have a pig roast. Now I’ve heard stories of insensitive and ridiculous behavior at small high schools in America, but this just about takes the cake. A pig roast? Eating pork? This is an absolute travesty.
Luckily, PETA is on top of the situation and is prepared to stop the pig genocide:
On May 16, The Academy of the New Church, a private Christian school in Bryn Athyn, Pennsylvania, plans to host a pig roast as part of its year-end festivities—despite the fact that pigs on factory farms endure lives of pain and suffering before being subjected to horrible, inhumane deaths. …
Although pigs are naturally peaceful and social animals, they resort to fighting and tail-biting when they are packed into crowded pens, and they develop neurotic behaviors when they are confined and kept in isolation. …
Please call or e-mail school officials to let them know that pigs are intelligent, sentient beings who value their lives and that they should no more be exploited for food and “fun” than the family dog or cat.
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