Beer Stallions
Guys love to talk about beer. Well, normal guys, that is. I’m not sure what girls who don’t know each other talk about—clothes, maybe?—but beer is a safe area for guys. I like talking about beer. Beer is a good topic.
It’s important to have a couple of beers around which to rally. Call them your Beer Stallions. You champion your Stallions and praise their virtues against those of your conversation mates’. It’s all in good fun, but it also helps you to learn about just what kind of guys you’re dealing with.
Now a lot of guys go with the stock “I like domestics” line. “I just drink Budweiser,” they’ll say, avoiding any talk of imports. This is akin to rooting for the Lakers and generally marks the conversationalist as insipid. However, you must be careful not to lump in truly down-to-earth domestics lovers with guys who are just boring. The former are assets to the group, while the latter are deadweight.
A lot of guys like to use a beer you’ve never heard of as their Stallion. I feel this is a distinctly suspect move. How can you really talk about that? “I had this awesome beer when I was down in New Orleans,” they’ll say. “You can’t get it up here.” Well, whatever man. Two thumbs up for your mystery beer.
The most truthworthy conversationalists are those who champion solid competitors such as Guinness, Samuel Adams, and Negro Modelo as their Beer Stallions. This is the sure mark of a solid guy.
Oh, if the guy toots Heineken’s horn, you’re dealing with a hoser.
Me? I do like the Guinness and the Sam Adams and the Bell’s (even though that’s verging on yuppie-ish). Right now, though, I’m championing a dark horse: Michelob Honey Lager. Yes, it’s a domestic. Yes, it’s less than $5 for a six pack of bottles (that’s an asset!). But this is good beer! It beats the pants off J.W. Dundee Honey Brown. Flavorful, sweet (even a bit too much so), and tangy, Honey Lager is a lot of bang for your beer buck. So it’s my Beer Stallion of the moment.
p.s. The link for Michelob Honey Lager goes to BeerAdvocate.com. If there’s a bigger collection of broomstick-up-their-ass, mystery beer-using Beer Stallion guys (see above) on the Web, I haven’t seen it. Caveat lector.
April 1st, 2004 at 4:01 pm
Hmmm….I’m female and I discuss beer quite a bit. One of my roomies brews his own beer (he’s basically a bootlegger..ha!) and he makes a really good pumpkin beer and an oatmeal coffee stout. People can discuss beer all they want, but you know what the best sort of beer is? FREE BEER!