Tom does Wisconsin
I cannot blog about the state of the Wisconsin without first paying homage to Mr. Bron Tennis. He twists his face into a disgusting, distorted mask, one eyebrow arched three full inches above the other, and bellows out the inimitable: “Eyhmmmm aboot tah geeeve yah a teeestaahhh Wiscaaahhhhhsinn!” Gorgeous.
So with Bron in mind, I ventured to rural Wisconsin, where I found my own experiences confirmed some vaguely held stereotypes about the dairyland up north.
- Yes, Wisconsin is full of cheese—or seems to be from the numerous signs roadside signs screaming “CHEESE” in block letters.
- Yes, Wisconsinites seem to instinctively know that fat insulates against the cold.
- Yes, Wisconsin looooves its Green Bay football.
- Yes, Wisconsin looooves its beer (but don’t we all?).
- But perhaps most apparent to me, Wisconsin is really, really white.
And that’s not a bad thing. This just seemed to me to be the American center of whiteness. Oh, if I took the Greyhound to Mississippi, I’d probably be saying the same thing about it for black people. (What would be the equivalent for Asians? The campus of UCLA? Hmm…) Anyhow, these folks were unabashedly white, and I did like it. I found the bar scene charming, what with Bon Jovi’s “Living on a Prayer” followed immediately by Notorious B.I.G. And a big group sing-along to both. Something innocent about it all, I’ll venture. Is that pompous of me? I hope not.
Oh, and lunch at the funky I Love Funky’s was superb. I, for one, wouldn’t think to mix key lime with green tea, but it makes for a tasty soda. How an antique store with a alterna-bistro in the basement stays afloat in Fort Atkinson, WI is beyond the business ken of this here blogger, but I’m glad the place exists.
Welp, here’s to $1 domestics, antique arcade games, and lox and cream cheese for breakfast.
September 23rd, 2007 at 12:54 am
uhm, where the hell did you go to in wisconsin? ive lived here my whole life and i cant confirm those sterotypes for anyone but maybe some old people, but nobody has an accent, some do far up north and by the mississippi, but once again that applies to the older people, and a small amount. also, like wherever your from, not everyone is fat, im a 0. and i live in a very wealthy stuck up area, maybe that plays a role in it? and fort atkinson, thats not too far from me, and i had relatives there, not a single one matches your stereotypes. what state do you live in, ill stereotype your state and compare it to what ive seen, im sure ive been to it. and atleast Wisconsin knows how to party. douche.
April 30th, 2008 at 9:18 am
Mel… lighten up lady. I’ve lived in Wisco my whole life, and I love our stereotypes. They make me laugh and who wouldn’t be proud to be known for cheese and beer. ;)