jotsheet

Note: I have since published an update to this entry called Apache Directory Indexes 201. Please read it if you’re interested in a more flexible means of styling indexes.

With a tidbit from the Apache mod_autoindex documentation, I decided to give a little flair to my directory indexes. Usually, indexes are quite vanilla: unstyled HTML 3.2 with tab-delimited textual content enclosed in <PRE> tags.

I’m sure you know what I mean. Take a looksie at the directory listing of BLOGWARS, a sister site of underscorebleach.net: booooring directory listing

Now stand back and be amazed by underscorebleach.net’s directory listing: Indexes 101 directory listing

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Let’s try a couple of cute little lists.

Favorite things of the moment:

1. Favorite thing, in general: long johns
   • This cold weather is bullshit, man.
   • My snot keeps freezing.
   • But my buns are reasonably toasty.
2. Favorite website: BlogLines
   • It keeps all your RSS feeds nice and tidy and Web-accessible.
   • It uses some smokin JavaScript.
   • It’s free—and FeedDemon ain’t anymore.
3. Favorite song: “If You Find Yourself Caught In Love” by Belle and Sebastian
   • It’s cute and catchy.
   • Margie gave me the album for free.
   • Margie is friends with Frank and Mo.
4. Favorite type of food: Thai
   • It’s a bit more creative than Chinese.
   • It’s kinder to my lower intestine than Indian.
   • It’s cheap.

Unfavorite things of the moment:

1. Unfavorite thing, in general: this bullshit cold weather
   • This crap is ridiculous.
   • My snot keeps freezing.
   • I have a ski mask that makes me look like a murderer.
2. Unfavorite electronic thing: cell phones
   • My battery lasts approximately 6 minutes.
   • That is a motherfuckin ridiculous.
   • Ringing cell phones are highly annoying.
3. Unfavorite thing in my possession: my car
   • My car battery takes a crap at 0°.
   • My car takes a crap in general after it rains.
   • Seriously, what the hell is that?

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Been tweakin’ the site a bit. Nothing radical—just a tune-up. In addiction to the slick, extensionless URLs I put in for the jotsheet a few moons ago, I’ve tightened a few other nuts and bolts. The biggest behind-the-scenes change is the search engine optimization piece. I used CSS and DIVs to escape the code sequence prison of old-fashioned markup. Sound exciting? Uh, hang on for the ride.

It’s all pretty simple, but it involves changing the way you think about HTML a little bit. Back in the ol’ days (uh, 1999?), when everyone was puttering along happily with table-based layouts and Netscape 4, the layout of the code was pretty well tied to the layout of the page. Say you were lookin’ for a simple design with a banner, left nav, and content area. Try this on for size:

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underscorebleach: would you rather give a handjob to George W. Bush or Tony Blair
rjbgocats: blair
rjbgocats: he would be giving one to bush
rjbgocats: so i wouldn’t really have a choice

BarnacleBarnyard: i love good old beast
underscorebleach: beast should drink beast
…
underscorebleach: oh i think that stuff is the devil’s piss
BarnacleBarnyard: the devil’s piss is $10 a case
underscorebleach: i wish my piss were $10 a case
…
underscorebleach: the beasts of the field are unclean
underscorebleach: so too is the beast of the can

MrsParker6767 (7:58:00 PM): did you find your song?
underscorebleach (8:01:52 PM): nope
MrsParker6767 (8:02:34 PM): grrrrr
MrsParker6767 (8:02:36 PM): im sorry
…
underscorebleach (8:14:48 PM): HOLY FUCK
underscorebleach (8:14:49 PM): I FOUND IT
underscorebleach (8:14:50 PM): I FOUND IT
underscorebleach (8:14:51 PM): I FOUND IT
underscorebleach (8:14:53 PM): I FOUND IT
underscorebleach (8:14:54 PM): I FOUND IT
underscorebleach (8:14:55 PM): I FOUND IT
underscorebleach (8:14:56 PM): I FOUND IT
underscorebleach (8:14:57 PM): I FOUND IT
underscorebleach (8:14:58 PM): I FOUND IT
underscorebleach (8:15:00 PM): I FOUND IT
MrsParker6767 (8:15:01 PM): The last message was not sent because you are over the rate limit. Please wait until sending is re-enabled and send the message again.
underscorebleach (8:16:08 PM): GET EXCITED

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Karma’s a motherfucker, ain’t it?

The Philadelphia Eagles reach the NFC Championship for the third year in a row—the second consecutive at home—and choke. Again. Er, again again, I mean. Third time’s a charm? No, “charm” and Philly sports fans should never be mentioned together (nor should “class,” “cleanliness,” or “winning”).

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If you’re a dorkwad like me, you might’ve looked at the jotsheet URLs and seen that there’s no extension there: no .html, no .php, no .shtml. Here, I can prove it: http://underscorebleach.net/content/jotsheet/2003/11/eu_budget

How do I do that? Good question. But first, you ask, why do I do that?

1. It makes the URLs future-proof: if my server-side approach (currently SSI) changes to PHP, there’s no need to change the file extension on all the files. Also, the same URL can be bookmarked, and you don’t have to mess with redirecting old URLs in a big honkin’ .htaccess (if you’d even bother with that).
2. Since Google
3. It looks cool. Nerd power. Uhh yeah

So, since it might be of some use to another small-time nerd out there, I figure I’ll share my approach to extensionless blog entries in Movable Type. It takes a little bit of doing, but by the time you’re done, you’ll be the coolest blogger on the block.

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I cannot blog about the state of the Wisconsin without first paying homage to Mr. Bron Tennis. He twists his face into a disgusting, distorted mask, one eyebrow arched three full inches above the other, and bellows out the inimitable: “Eyhmmmm aboot tah geeeve yah a teeestaahhh Wiscaaahhhhhsinn!” Gorgeous.

So with Bron in mind, I ventured to rural Wisconsin, where I found my own experiences confirmed some vaguely held stereotypes about the dairyland up north.

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