A solution to my generation’s deficiencies
MTV insults me. The Democrats insult me. The Chicago Tribune’s and Chicago Sun-Times’ “youth-oriented” tabloid-style $0.25 dailies, RedEye and Red Streak, insult me. News organizations insult me.
I’m in the 18-29 bracket. They think I like my news condensed, my food bite-sized, and my politics simplistic. They think I idolize actors and admire sports figure. They think I like shiny things.
Let’s get one thing straight: Kids my age are idiots. The proof is in the pudding: turn on MTV. And even if real life ain’t like that, the 18-29 bracket seems to wish it were. Hell, pick up a college newspaper—that’s even better proof of the state of affairs.
What my generation needs is some tried-and-true corporal punishment. You fuck up? You get your ass beat. You’re late? You get your ass beat. We need a Secretary of Whoop Ass for the 18-29 Bracket. If something isn’t done soon, this sorry bunch of assclowns is actually going to be running the nation soon!