I suppose I salvaged the weekend. It was a close call, though. It’s days like these that make my fragility unavoidable. It stares me in the face, consumes me, brings me down. I’ve learned to be careful and to respect it.
I made an odd decision this weekend. I’m sick of Linux. It’s just not ready for prime time. The straw that broke the camel’s back was the absolute chore of trying to get X-Windows to cooperate with my old Seiko monitor. Bottom line: my time is too valuable to waste on simple problems like getting a monitor to work. Until Linux gets all that basic shit straightened out—X-Windows, fonts, drivers—I’ll check my achingly cliché anti-MS sentiments at the door and go with Win2k. It’s pretty darn stable, and besides, it works. You Linux kids can keep your principles. I’ll keep my spare time.
BUT, with that said, I did install an interesting addition to Windows called CYGWIN. It runs a full, Red Hat-ish environment inside of any Win32 OS, and in the case of NT/2K/XP, allows you to start UNIX daemons as services. Intriguing, huh?
I want to write a solid, original short story. I wrote a little bit tonight, and maybe something will come of it. Producing something that is new, original, and of me is particularly satisfying.
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Downtown Chicago accompanied by the 12 Monkeys soundtrack—that’s some trippy shit. But I like it. The city is a strange place. It does strange things to people, I think. It puts me in a mode: defensive, wary, cunning, observant. Maybe it’s different for other people, but I certainly see people with their masks on. I hope they get home to their houses and apartments and take them off.
My new DSL connection gives me the opportunity to have a useful linux box connected to the net. With a static IP, no ports blocked, and 768 upstream (1500 downstream), it’s pretty legit. After trying several distros, I’ve found a rather unknown flavor called MEPIS to be the far-and-away best. It runs from a CD, installs nicely the hard drive, is based on Debian, and includes both desktop and server apps. I highly recommend it.
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I’m tired—mentally and physically. I have not particularly enjoyed the past couple of days. This job offer has probably been more of a negative in my life than I’d previously realized, and even though that’s nonsensical, it’s true. I really just want it out of my life. I don’t want to think about it anymore. I don’t care.
What before was exciting and intriguing is just a drain now. I’m usually very decisive, but I’ve waffled a bit on this job thing. After getting off the phone yesterday, though, I was depressed and angry. It just didn’t feel right. You can say I should go, but you haven’t asked me if I want to go. My mind is made up. Pass.
Enough of this. I want it behind me. I’m tired. Goodnight.
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CNN’s Christiane Amanpour, graduate of the prestigious University of Rhode Island, on the press coverage of the recent Iraq conflict: “I think the press was muzzled, and I think the press self-muzzled. I’m sorry to say, but certainly television and, perhaps, to a certain extent, my station was intimidated by the administration and its foot soldiers at Fox News. And it did, in fact, put a climate of fear and self-censorship, in my view, in terms of the kind of broadcast work we did.”
Fox News spokeswoman Irena Briganti, in response: “Given the choice, it’s better to be viewed as a foot soldier for Bush than a spokeswoman for al-Qaeda.”
I love it. Here’s the full text.
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Ack! It’s been a terribly unproductive weekend. Perhaps it wouldn’t seem so bad looking back if both my Illini and Bears hadn’t had their asses handed to them on Saturday and Sunday nights, respectively. Those were pathetic spectacles, let me tell you. Either team would be lucky to finish .500 for the year.
The other source of my time-wasting this weekend was my new DSL connection. It’s a right faster lil bugger (see speed test), but it’s damn tempting to fritter my life away on the net, too. I gotta watch for that. Nothing worse than lethargy for my state of mind.
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Calling all PR firms! The Record Industry Association of America (RIAA) needs you! They’re off doing wacky things like suing 12 year-old girls, and their “Clean Slate” amnesty program is a sham. You can submit your resume online at RIAA.org—if you can catch it while it’s online. Seems those record industry folks have caught a nasty case of the DDoS bug.
A few days ago, I had to go to the City of Evanston building to get a parking sticker, and I had to deal again with the parking lady there. I honestly feel bad for her. She seems rather intelligent, but she’s chosen for herself a career of Parking Bitch. Isn’t that pathetic? Condescending though it may be, I have to take contexts like that into account before I feel the desire to wring bureacrats’ necks. I hate government red tape, sure; but these people are government red tape.
WOO HOO!
DSL IS UP AND RUNNING, BABY! MORE INFO TO COME!!!
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I wish I had my digital camera with me, because I’d take a picture of my right thumb and you could pity me. On Monday night, while playing basketball, I caught a quick pass square on my thumb, jamming it down into the socket. Hurt like a biatch. I played another game one-handed, but the real hurt started the next morning when I realized I was now a one-hand wonder.
I could do almost nothing with my right hand, so not only was I was I one-handed, but my one hand was my weak hand. Showering was tough. Getting my socks on was tough. And tying my shoes was real tough. But I guess it’s a lesson in humility: you don’t appreciate your abilities until you lose them. Well, that’s what I was trying to distill from the situation as I rode the “L” with a bag of ice draped over my hand, anyway.
In other news, my life is busy busy busy busy busy busy busy busy busy busy busy busy busy busy busy. Big changes might be coming soon. I have a hard time wrapping my mind around big changes, but once I do, they don’t seem so scary. So maybe I just need time and a little bit of information, and then I’ll be okay.
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