21 feb 02

AlexiaIscariot: well, here’s the thing. Anne must go with me. Tony must go with you. adele and mark must go together. mark cannot go with jon
underscorebleach:   it’s like a damn SAT math logic problem

Montel William sucks. i hate that guy.

i rewarded myself after my weekly three hours of Purgatory with Taco Bell. this inspired me to whip up a little chart of fast food restaurants and their qualities…

Name Comments
Arby’s mmm, curly fries. and that greasy guy who always came into Circuit City and talked to me worked at Arby’s, so it must be cool.
Burger King i dig the fries. and you have to respect the 24 hour BK in Evanston, even if you have to carry a gun to eat there at 3 a.m.
Dairy Queen tell me again why a place called “Dairy Queen” has burgers?
Hardee’s this place sucks. their fries are horrible and they’re slow as shit.
McDonald’s the ultimate in OVERRATED. overrated fries, small burgers, slow service, and fairly high prices. no thanks.
Subway Jared is a piece of shit.
Taco Bell the best, period. fast, cheap, and good. I LOVE MEXIMELTS.
Wendy’s fabulous selection, fast service, dynamite junior bacon cheeseburgers, and what great decor!
White Castle they don’t even have to flip the burgers to cook them. need i say more? onionlicious.

oh, by the way… HEY RUSSIA AND SOUTH KOREA, STOP WHINING YOU FUCKING LOSERS.

two

here’s some more evidence that Champaign, Illinois is a happening place.

coupla nights ago, while quite bored, i was browsing NU’s directory of personal homepages. i randomly picked a girl named Kelly Robinson, who has a page devoted to her Top 10 Reasons Why She Loves Northwestern and Top 10 Reasons Why She Hates Northwestern. this seems like an all right idea to me, so i thought i’d steal it…

Tom’s Top 10 Good Things About NU

  1. the pretty buildings on University Pl.
  2. gossiping about other political types on campus
  3. the hot sorority girls (er, waaiiitt a minute here…)
  4. the Daily’s Forum page (and getting to complain about it)
  5. BK
  6. getting to watch NSAS/NOWAR/[leftist group of the moment] make fools of themselves at the Rock
  7. making fun of teachers in CTECs (and then poring through the database a year later to find your own comments and laugh at them)
  8. going to controversial College Republicans events (woo!)
  9. ph-stalking
  10. doing it right once a year — Dillo Day

Tom’s Top 10 Crappy Things About NU

  1. the 10% sales tax. gimme a damn break
  2. our chants of “state school” at football games, only to wish we were one later that night when we’re sitting in our rooms playing Boggle at 11 p.m.
  3. the lack of a decent bus system (does anyone use those shuttles? honestly now.)
  4. having to go to Chicago to see anything cool
  5. being in fiscally retarded Evanston ($1 mil in fucking PARKING REVENUES?!)
  6. the homogenous mass of liberal/leftist professors
  7. all this bullshit about “diversity”
  8. no cable in the dorms (and even if they change it now, that doesn’t change the past!)
  9. our ugly-ass architecture
  10. Jesse Fucking Jackson coming for MLK day

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